The Lost Girl


I feel a little lost within myself right now.

Like I've been asleep for a year and I've finally woken up.

I always feel like this after a depressive period, and I have quite a few of them under my belt now. As it stands right now, there are two parts of me, struck directly down the middle by a column of heavy, unyielding darkness. There is pre-depression me, a twenty year old girl who still felt sixteen. And there is post-depression me, a twenty-two year old woman who doesn't love any of the things she remembers she's supposed to love. A girl who feels broken and unbroken, tired and energised. Books, nail varnish shades, albums, shoes: they no longer belong to me. They belong to her, the girl who used to be before the darkness swallowed her whole.

So what do I do? When that girl's belongings surround me? When her hair is growing from my scalp? When her favourite stories are stacked neatly on my bookcase?

I do what I always do: tear down what I hate and rebuild.

This is not my destruction. It is my re-birth.


3 comments

  1. "This is not my destruction. It is my re-birth" is brilliant and exactly how I feel after a particularly bad stage. It's hard to remember who you are when the sadness isn't there, but it's still worth searching for. Wishing you all the best! xo

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  2. This is beautiful! With destruction comes regrowth. I hope you are doing well Lauren! Sending lots of love! ♥

    mooeyandfriends.blogspot.com

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  3. What a beautifully written post! And I definitely feel like I can relate to this. Hope you're doing okay - sending positive thoughts! <3 x www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

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